Ang sarap talagang tumawa! Lalo na kapag may nagbibigay sa iyo ng mga jokes na talagang hindi nakaka-offend o nakakapagbigay ng atraso. Yung tipong birong nagawa ng isang matalinong tao. Dati, nakapagsulat na ako ng mga jokes dito sa aking blog, at ngayon uulitin ko. Nawa'y matawa kayong lahat!
From Pinoy Fail Blog
INAY: Bakit ka umiiyak?
BERTING: Si kuya po, sinabihan ako ng PANGIT!
INAY: Totoo ba sumbong ng kapatid mo?
JUAN: Huwag po kayong maniwala sa sinasabi ng PANGIT na yan!
GURO: Imagin-in ninyo na kayo ay MILYONARYO! Isulat ang inyong mga activities.
ALL: Yes, ma'am!
GURO: Juan, bakit hindi ka nagsusulat?
JUAN: Hinihintay ko po yung SECRETARY ko!
From Tumawa
MAX: Pare, bakit may tali ka sa paa?
JUAN: MAGBIBIGTI ako, eh!
MAX: Eh bakit sa paa? Dapat sa LEEG!
JUAN: Sinubukan ko na kanina, hindi ako MAKAHINGA, eh!
JUAN: Kahit tindero ako ng fishball, may anak ako sa Ateneo, UP at La Salle!
PEDRO: Wow, ano'ng course?
JUAN: Wala, nagtitinda din ng fishball!
JUAN: Pare, nasaksak ako! Mauubusan na ako ng dugo! Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!
PEDRO: Okay! YOU'RE A DOCTOR! DOKTOR KA JUAN!
From Funny Pinoy Jokes
PEDRO: Pare, akyat ka ng puno! Pisilin mo yung bunga, tingnan mo kung hinog na.
JUAN: (dali-daling umakyat ng puno) Hinog na, pare!
PEDRO: Sige, bumaba ka na at tulungan mo ako! Sungkitin na natin!
AMO: Inday! Bakit mabilis maubos yung toothpick natin?
INDAY: Hindi ko po alam, Ma'am! Kapag gumagamit naman po ako, binabalik ko!
BOY: Di ba ngayon ang heart surgery mo?
GIRL: Yeah!
BOY: Just remember that I LOVE YOU so much!
GIRL: I LOVE YOU more! Thank you!
(After ng heart surgery, nagtaka yung girl kung bakit tatay lang niya ang nasa tabi niya)
GIRL: Dad, nasaan siya?
DAD: Hindi mo ba kilala kung sino ang nagbigay sa'yo ng puso mo?
GIRL: Oh my God!
(And the girl started to cry)
DAD: JOKE LANG! Tumae lang! Eto naman!
TEACHER: Ano ang sagot sa bugtong na ito, "Ayan na, ayan na, hindi mo pa nakikita?"
JUAN: Ma'am, "Tanga?!"
Sa isang ilog...
BALONG: Bata! Mababaw ba yung ilog?
BATA: Opo!
BALONG: (tumalon) SAKLOLO! SAKLOLO! LOKO KANG BATA KA! Sabi mo mababaw, ang lalim pala!
BATA: Mababaw lang po talaga! Kasi po kanina, tumawid pa nga po yung bibe diyan eh! Cool na cool lang!
From Jokes Tagalog
Job interview for abroad...
HR: Ano'ng pangalan mo?
JUAN: Juan Kampupot po.
HR: Ilang taon?
JUAN: Disi-otso po!
HR: May trabaho?
JUAN: Tricycle driver po.
HR: Single?
JUAN: May sidecar ho! Tricycle driver nga, eh!
BOY: Nay, birthday ko po ngayon!
NANAY: Ano'ng gusto mong gift ko?
BOY: Kahit huwag na gift, kahit sentence na lang po. Yung tipong maiiyak ako, ha!
NANAY: Anak, ampon ka!
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: Natural, hindi!
STUDENT: Good! Hindi ko po ginawa assignment ko!
From Pinoy Tagalog Jokes
RICH VAMPIRE: Oorder ako ng fresh blood.
ORDINARY VAMPIRE: Sa akin isang order ng dinuguan.
POOR VAMPIRE: Hot water lang sa akin!
WAITER: Bakit hot water lang po?
POOR VAMPIRE: Nakapulot kasi ako ng napkin sa kanto. Magcha-tsaa na lang ako!
PEDRO: Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon ng eroplano nang walang parachute!
JUAN: Oh! Totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?
PEDRO: Doon sa burol niya!
JUAN: Tanungin mo ako ng English, sasagutin kita ng Spanish!
PEDRO: Which is more important, heart or mind?
JUAN: Spanish!
From Patawa.org
MISIS: Hello! Please send a MAINTENANCE personnel! Ang mister ko, tatalon sa bintana! Bilis!
ADMINISTRATOR: Ma'am bakit po maintenance?
MISIS: Eh, ayaw MABUKSAN ng bintana!
Sumulat si Inday sa kanyang ina...
"Dear Mom, Had it not been for the smelling salt, I would have collapsed a moment ago. Junior has become an uncontrollable little monster! Remember when he accidentally fell and hit his head on the marble floor at home last week? A bloody mess that was!
This week, he summoned by the principal of that shabbily run academy for smacking a classmate's face! And the academe--what a pretentious bunch of baboons!
Oh dear, I never imagined being a governess can be such an unbearable source of torturous aggravation.
Your daughter, Inday.
Kinabukasan, sumagot ang tatay ni Inday...
"Dear Inday, WALANGHIYA KA! MAGPADALA KA NG PERA! NASA OSPITAL ANG NANAY MO! DUMUGO ANG ILONG SA KAKABASA NG PESTENG SULAT MO!
Nagmamahal, Itay!
Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang buong diksyunaryo para may pantapat na siya kay Inday na Inglesera...
DONYA: So Inday, tell me, how do you come to terms and accept the inescapable fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in his, my extravagant mansion?
INDAY: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetico. La unican razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucendiendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poce clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea...
DONYA: GRRRR! (inatake ng epilepsy)
ANAK: Tay, totoo po bang may multo?
TATAY: Anak, walang multo! Bakit mo naitanong?
ANAK: Sabi kasi ni yaya, mayroong multo!
TATAY: Anak naman! Wala tayong yaya!
Battle of the Brains...
May tatlong lalake ang nasa jeep, yung driver, isang guro at si Juan. Nawalan ng kontrol ang sinasakyan nila kaya nahulog sila sa bangin. Noong nagkamalay silang tatlo, nakatayo na si San Pedro at si Satanas sa gilid sa harap nila.
SATANAS: Dahil napupuno na ang langit, napagkasunduan namin ni San Pedro na limitahan na lang ang pagpasok dito. Kung sino man sa inyo ang makapagtatanong na hindi ko masagutan ng tama ay yun ang karapat-dapat makapasok sa langit. Kung masagot ko, diretso kayo sa impiyerno! Sino'ng gustong mauna?
DRIVER: Ako! Ako muna!
SATANAS: Anong tanong mo?
DRIVER: Anong araw ako unang nag-drive?
SATANAS: (nag-isip sandali) August 2, 1991
(Boom! Nagliyab at biglang nawala ang driver. Sumunod ang guro)
GURO: Ako naman! (nagbigay ng isang napakahabang Math problem, ngunit nasagutan din ito ng tama ni Satanas kaya napunta rin siya sa impiyerno)
SATANAS: Ikaw naman, Juan!
JUAN: Hmmmm... Sige, kumuha ka ng upuan at butasan mo ng pitong butas!
SATANAS: Aba, inutusan pa ako! Pero sige, dahil naiintriga ako sa pinapagawa mo!
(Kumuha si Satanas ng upuan at nilagyan ng pitong butas. Umupo si Juan at umutot sa upuan...)
JUAN: Ang tanong ko sa'yo! Saang butas ako umutot?
SATANAS: (pinagpawisan) Hmmmm... Sa ika-anim na butas?
JUAN: MALI!!! Sa butas ng puwet ko, tanga! GO TO YOUR OWN HELL! HAHAHA!
SAN PEDRO: Welcome to heaven, Juan!
From Pinoy Jokes Hub
MAX: Pare, mahilig pala ang pamilyo mo sa music! Kasi kapag naliligo kayo, lahat kumakanta!
JUAN: Anong mahilig? Kailangan lang kumanta kasi walang lock ang banyo!
PEDRO: Ano ang tawag sa uod na nasa gitna ng kalsada?
JUAN: (nag-iisip) Hindi ko alam eh! Ano nga ba?
PEDRO: Eh hindi uod pa rin! Nasa gitna lang naman ng kalsada eh!
Laughter is still the best medicine!
Toodles!!!
special thanks to Pinoy Fail Blog, Tumawa, Funny Pinoy Jokes, Jokes Tagalog, Pinoy Tagalog Jokes, Patawa.org, and Pinoy Jokes Hub :)
Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Three Brouhaha Years
Oh yeah! It has been three years but I guess having three years is not as significant as five years or ten years or twenty-five years or even a hundred years. But let me have my own significance of celebrating three writing years in my blog.
Three words about myself right now, redemption, upgrading and anew.
I want to redeem myself from the things I failed to accomplish. Lots of broken things that I need to fix, people whom I need to say sorry with, and prayers I love to pray all over again, which I need to redeem myself. I need a total upgrade of my life. I never had vacation since and I need one, I want one. I want new things, new clothes, new bag, new shoes, which will tell me that I upgrade. I want to start a friendship anew. A friendship which there is no pretensions, no qualms, just pure friendship. I failed one, and now I am redeeming it, and more than that, I will upgrade our friendship. Hopefully that this will happen.
Three people who gives me extra inspiration.
Julie Ann Cory Jimenez and Angelica Espana, my two loving super dooper friends who recently graduated in University of Santo Tomas with a degree of Master of Education in Curriculum Design (is it correct?) and as magna cum laude. They inspire me to do best in whatever I am doing. Their secret, not sleeping more than two hours. And powerful Power Point presentation. The other one is Vice Ganda. My idol not because he's gay and he's very famous but of himself being too much honest and frank. That's why he is loved by so many people. That's why he is loved by his friends. That's why he became the asawa of Kris Aquino, nanay of Ryan Bang, Kiray Celis, Dominic Roque and Patrick Sugui, Tutoy to his mother and his brother/s/sister/s. They give me inspiration that boosts me too hard! And I want it for my life!
Three gifts I want to receive right now.
Peace, good health and love. Peace because I want to reconnect again with the person I respect the most. Good health because I'm no longer getting younger and I need to lose weight, seriously. And love because I guess I already moved on and I'm getting ready to meet new people. I am wishing this person to be known personally but as what they say, God gives us the right time!
Three future events I am so much excited to look forward to.
First is the second attempt of Anne Curtis to have a concert at the Araneta Coliseum entitled The Forbidden Concert with hashtag #Annekapal. Next is my newest workplace. I don't know where and I don't know when will I start but I am so much looking forward to it. And the showing of the film version of The Fault In Our Stars, which stars Shailene Woodley and Ansel Egort. My student Kristine Azurin had spoiled me the ending of the story but I am so much excited for this.
Three books I want to read.
One is Leche by R. Zamora Linmark. It is a foreign print but the setting of the story is in the Philippines. Based from my memory and understanding, it is a story of a Fil-Am who went back to the Philippines to search for something. Turns out his adventure became nerve-wracking and heart-pounding. I just don't understand why the title of his novel is Leche and does this mean milk in Spanish or a bad word? The other one is Love and Misadventures by Lang Leav. This was being recommended by my student, Kristine. I went to Fully Booked in Alabang Town Center and I thought it was a love story but full of short but uber-romantic poems about love stories. The third book I wish I could buy and read is Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. This book intrigues me a lot because it talks about the rich and famous, Asian version. Do they really have the same thinking as the Western socialites or all socialites whether from the Americas or Asia are the same? I want to laugh, I want to learn and somehow, I need to make a research about these!
Three ramen houses in Metro Manila I wanted to dine.
Only in Alabang, at the famous Molito Commercial Complex is Ramen Yushoken. According to the website Our Awesome Planet, they have a limited capacity of 170-200 bowls of ramen per day and there are rumors that they needed to turn down customers and orders because they had already reached the capacity. Their ramen is really an authentic one. Next is Mitsuyado Sei-Men also known as The House of Tsukemen located at 22 Jupiter Street, Makati City. I've seen this Japanese restaurant through KrisTV and I saw how they adorned their ramen. The noodles were smothered with cheese and then you will dip the noodle in the base soup. And lastly is Ikkoryu Fukuoka Ramen located in the East Wing of Shangri-La Plaza and at the 5th level of SM Aura Premier. They are known for the Black Garlic Tonkotsu ramen (as of this writing, I am licking my lips and really craving for these ramen!) and the basic Ajitama ramen. I don't know how they were prepared, but they taste, I guess, so delicious. I only started as a ramen fan this year because of my cousin-in-law and whenever I have, I make it a point to eat one bowl, from start to finish!
This has been The Brouhahas. Three years have passed and it became significant to me. Now, I wanted to make this blogsite to be synonymous to fun and life-changing. This is, for me, the best vehicle to showcase what I really wanted to do, write.
Thank you for all the readers for reaching more than 24,000 views. I may not have hundreds of followers through Blogger, but sharing what I have in my heart can be as good as three's a charm!
Happy 3rd Anniversary!!!
Toodles!!!
courtesy of Our Awesome Planet
Three words about myself right now, redemption, upgrading and anew.
I want to redeem myself from the things I failed to accomplish. Lots of broken things that I need to fix, people whom I need to say sorry with, and prayers I love to pray all over again, which I need to redeem myself. I need a total upgrade of my life. I never had vacation since and I need one, I want one. I want new things, new clothes, new bag, new shoes, which will tell me that I upgrade. I want to start a friendship anew. A friendship which there is no pretensions, no qualms, just pure friendship. I failed one, and now I am redeeming it, and more than that, I will upgrade our friendship. Hopefully that this will happen.
Three people who gives me extra inspiration.
Julie Ann Cory Jimenez and Angelica Espana, my two loving super dooper friends who recently graduated in University of Santo Tomas with a degree of Master of Education in Curriculum Design (is it correct?) and as magna cum laude. They inspire me to do best in whatever I am doing. Their secret, not sleeping more than two hours. And powerful Power Point presentation. The other one is Vice Ganda. My idol not because he's gay and he's very famous but of himself being too much honest and frank. That's why he is loved by so many people. That's why he is loved by his friends. That's why he became the asawa of Kris Aquino, nanay of Ryan Bang, Kiray Celis, Dominic Roque and Patrick Sugui, Tutoy to his mother and his brother/s/sister/s. They give me inspiration that boosts me too hard! And I want it for my life!
Three gifts I want to receive right now.
Peace, good health and love. Peace because I want to reconnect again with the person I respect the most. Good health because I'm no longer getting younger and I need to lose weight, seriously. And love because I guess I already moved on and I'm getting ready to meet new people. I am wishing this person to be known personally but as what they say, God gives us the right time!
Three future events I am so much excited to look forward to.
First is the second attempt of Anne Curtis to have a concert at the Araneta Coliseum entitled The Forbidden Concert with hashtag #Annekapal. Next is my newest workplace. I don't know where and I don't know when will I start but I am so much looking forward to it. And the showing of the film version of The Fault In Our Stars, which stars Shailene Woodley and Ansel Egort. My student Kristine Azurin had spoiled me the ending of the story but I am so much excited for this.
Three books I want to read.
One is Leche by R. Zamora Linmark. It is a foreign print but the setting of the story is in the Philippines. Based from my memory and understanding, it is a story of a Fil-Am who went back to the Philippines to search for something. Turns out his adventure became nerve-wracking and heart-pounding. I just don't understand why the title of his novel is Leche and does this mean milk in Spanish or a bad word? The other one is Love and Misadventures by Lang Leav. This was being recommended by my student, Kristine. I went to Fully Booked in Alabang Town Center and I thought it was a love story but full of short but uber-romantic poems about love stories. The third book I wish I could buy and read is Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. This book intrigues me a lot because it talks about the rich and famous, Asian version. Do they really have the same thinking as the Western socialites or all socialites whether from the Americas or Asia are the same? I want to laugh, I want to learn and somehow, I need to make a research about these!
Three ramen houses in Metro Manila I wanted to dine.
Only in Alabang, at the famous Molito Commercial Complex is Ramen Yushoken. According to the website Our Awesome Planet, they have a limited capacity of 170-200 bowls of ramen per day and there are rumors that they needed to turn down customers and orders because they had already reached the capacity. Their ramen is really an authentic one. Next is Mitsuyado Sei-Men also known as The House of Tsukemen located at 22 Jupiter Street, Makati City. I've seen this Japanese restaurant through KrisTV and I saw how they adorned their ramen. The noodles were smothered with cheese and then you will dip the noodle in the base soup. And lastly is Ikkoryu Fukuoka Ramen located in the East Wing of Shangri-La Plaza and at the 5th level of SM Aura Premier. They are known for the Black Garlic Tonkotsu ramen (as of this writing, I am licking my lips and really craving for these ramen!) and the basic Ajitama ramen. I don't know how they were prepared, but they taste, I guess, so delicious. I only started as a ramen fan this year because of my cousin-in-law and whenever I have, I make it a point to eat one bowl, from start to finish!
This has been The Brouhahas. Three years have passed and it became significant to me. Now, I wanted to make this blogsite to be synonymous to fun and life-changing. This is, for me, the best vehicle to showcase what I really wanted to do, write.
Thank you for all the readers for reaching more than 24,000 views. I may not have hundreds of followers through Blogger, but sharing what I have in my heart can be as good as three's a charm!
Happy 3rd Anniversary!!!
Toodles!!!
courtesy of Our Awesome Planet
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)