I just don't know but maybe writing is really the best way of blurting what's inside of your mind and even your heart. And yes, all of these are the things that made me realize brouhahas are back!
I remember one class when my student surprisingly asked me if I am too much excited for the Miss World pageant. My best friend, Gibran is considered a "missosologist," and every time the new year comes, he is very excited because a new set of candidates from the different beauty pageants will be known. Both of them know all of the past winners of Miss Universe pageant and even some trivia about it. And since one Filipina won the blue crown, I would expect them some details and excitement about it. Congratulations, Megan!
Janice has a range of voice of a real diva. Though known as a heavyweight, she has a voice of an angel. According to some, when she "blind" auditioned, all of the four judges turned their chairs around and Janice had a hard time choosing who will be her mentor. Later on, she chose Apl.de.Ap. Mitoy was never a neophyte when it comes to singing. I remember him singing on television via Eat Bulaga and he had even came out from sitcoms and films. He was also performing in front of live audience at the home of The Voice of the Philippines, Resorts World Manila. Klarisse, which is a neighbor of my relatives in Makati, was a former colleague of her mentor, Sarah Geronimo way back in 2002 via Star for a Night. Sarah won but Klarisse wasn't. Now, things have changed and maybe it will Klarisse's time as a total performer. Myk is from Palawan which is known for renditions with his guitar. And he even called his team with hashtag, Kawayan, which is after the Filipino name of his name Bamboo.
Well, tonight is the night. Who will be the first The Voice of the Philippines? And yes, we're very excited for the second season soon!
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| courtesy of robinphillips.blogspot.com |
In college, I have learned Formalism, Marxism, Feminism, Structuralism and some sorts of deconstruction, chic literature, gay literature and so much symbolism. Our final exam was to read three poems and try to desensitize it. One poem needs to be deconstructed and the others need to criticize in use of structuralism and post-structuralism and everything which my head turned upside down. I didn't have a good grade with it because all I wanted is to read and not to look deeply into it. I thought our relationship is over but after five years, we met again!
In my post-graduate studies, yes, we met once again but this time it's harder than I thought. New kinds of schools of thought and theories have been included and newer names have mentioned by my professor. It seems that he knew all of them because the way he mentioned their names they had personal relationships with each other. The names such as Roland Barthes, Roman Jakobson, Derrick Attridge, Jacques Derida, Catherine Belsey, Marjorie Perloff and other literary theorists/critics were attributed in our discussions, which for the first time I heard them. Yes, even such words like "construct," "signified-over-signifier," "literariness," "binary opposition," "romance mode," and so much more which every time I listen to Dr. Bayot, my superior professor in this platform, makes me say "yes I know!"
But I'm not! I just love my professor but I really don't love the subject. It happens but it should be together. Especially when he told us that some of the papers we passed were "badly done!" It boiled down to one question, am I really for literature? I already knew my grade and it was interpreted as "good." Well, good start for me and more ideas about literature and everything about literature will come for the next two years.
For the past four months of my stay in high school, I think it was okay at first. But now, probably with the way I talk and relate to my students, that made them said that I was okay for them. I made them friends aside from being my students. Every time they go to me asking for help and advice on the problems they're facing on. For my part, it is indeed a wonderful experience because they are at home and at peace talking to me. With lots of jokes, they laugh a lot making me think also that they like me aside from the lessons I am inculcating to them. I guess, my stay in high school and dealing with high school students is a good idea.
But as days go by, some of students had become very familiar to me. Every assignment that I ask them to do, if not failing to do it, they are not really doing it. I need to repeat the task and even raising my voice just to do what I am asking them to do. When I ask them a question during our discussion, no one dares or if there are, one or two hands are raised to answer the question. And the most horrifying one, they do not have the sense of fear with the teachers and they don't even care if they will pass or not.
What's wrong with the students nowadays? I could say, as a teacher, that we should blame it to the generation. This generation which everyone is entitled for their opinion, and their opinion should really matter not thinking behind what would happen next. The students nowadays have the power to condemn their teachers; they will never follow their ordeals and even disrespecting them. I guess a lot of them do not even see the importance of studies, and our importance as their second parent in school. Just like what happened to me.
One student answered me back and it hurt me so much that I wanted to quit. Another incident happened that made me again into embarrassing situation that even my superior told me it could go worse. And yes, the title of this brouhaha brought me into a chaotic situation that my students harassed me with a strong kind of joke which for them it is funny, but for me it is so damned not! That brings me to my next predicament, do my students even care to respect me?
For the next six months, I will again facing them. I don't know if they will give a huge respect which I really deserve because it should be! Sometimes when I teach, I don't even care other students who are not into my discussion. If they will fail, they will just fail with no retraction and even hope for another chance. Right now, I play "deadma" to them. I don't dare myself to talk to them because of what I received from them. And yes, honestly, I don't care if they won or lost in their games last Intramurals because they don't deserve my loyalty and support to the whole team. If they won the championship, I would rather not show myself to the whole school supporting and bringing up the trophy they will have. If they did not, fine with me.
I just wish this very disappointing school year will soon finish. Or maybe, this will change as the day goes by, or after finishing this brouhaha.
Thank you for reading! I will soon write as more as I can!
Toodles!!!
