Sunday, July 03, 2011

The Feeling of Being Lost and Neglected and Mistaken

I had a recent breakup...

No, not with a girlfriend either of a boyfriend, but with my first love. Yes, you might think I'm getting insane and out-of-my-mind, but I know what I'm saying. I miss it (I used the pronoun it, not he or she), I miss the days I had so much fun with it. We talk to each other like the best of friends. We take good care of each other, I am thinking of it, it was thinking of me. And then, we had a fight, a very huge fight. My first love was telling me that I don't show my love anymore. But that was not true, I just needed to look for myself, something like a new one. But I did not say that I don't show my love anymore to my first love. Then, I was all alone.

You really want to know who is my first love. Or should I say, what. It's English, and I am putting up the pieces because I am really missing it.

I already know the feeling of being pushed away. You are still looking forward to it, but no other chances can be done, even attained. I still want to teach it, but I can't. I don't have the guts to teach it because the place that I've been into is not really okay. And yes, my feelings are not also okay.

For four consecutive days, I was really crying, sobbing that no one is being heard of. I think that I was really alone. I was crying but no one is listening. I was sobbing but no one dares to ask.

What should I do?

A lot of people told me that it was already there, and I can't do anything for it. They said that I was so lucky to do it because I already understood everything. I don't know if I did it really good but apparently, it seems that I did.

I should do my job, I should work on my present. With these, I may be really successful. I had my new dictionary, some worksheets working on, a new laptop is along the way. I may have the best of all worlds!

And with the drama of breaking up, I should stop. It's not funny anymore! I'm just contemplating and reminiscing, though it is not really helpful!

The end.

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